Week 1: Reflections by Eric Berve
Group: How can we be in the movement and conversation with our older generations? facilitated by Ian Berve and Vicky Zhang
By Eric Berve - Denver, Colorado
To say that 2020 has been a year of trials and tribulations is probably a household phrase at this point. Whether it has been by Covid, the murder of George Floyd, the Australian Bushfires, the near war with Iran, the death of Kobe Bryant….it feels as though every person in every facet of their lives has been affected negatively in one way or another. This does not exclude myself, of course (although, as an introverted hermit, the social distancing really hasn’t had much of an effect on me); however, when I really think about it, I can confidently say that overall, I think 2020 has been a successful start to a major turning point in my life. It just took a change in perspective to see that.
It feels as though for most people, the issues and problems of the world have been synonymized as their own, and I’m just now sure how healthy that is. That actually sounds pretty confusing and maybe even grammatically incorrect when I read it back. I guess what I’m trying to say is… for a majority of the people that I’ve spoken to since the beginning of the pandemic, the ones who are truly seeing 2020 as a cursed year are the ones who only focus on the larger issues of the world at hand. Trump being Trump, Covid, BLM, the rioting; it feels like most every conversation I have these days always ends up drifting towards these kinds of social events and how they have negatively impacted their lives. And that isn’t a bad thing! These are certainly issues that need to be addressed, focused on, and reacted to properly. But that doesn’t mean that taking action towards these should supersede focus on the smaller aspects of your lives. There is a small minority of people in my life who are going through their own positive life changing events: A taiko brother who is about to have his firstborn son. A close friend who finally received a diagnosis and treatment for an unknown illness that has ailed him for years. A little baby cousin who is walking and talking like it’s his job. A 24 year old student who has finally graduated after 6 ½ years, and is in the process of starting his career. It takes a different look at a smaller minority of people to realize that 2020 might not be universally viewed as a bad year; to some, it could be viewed as one of the best years of their lives. All it takes is a change in perspective.
And I think that this ties in with the messages that the wonderful organizers, Michelle Fujii & Karen Young, are attempting to spread with their group symposium. In my discussions with Ian, Vicky, and the others from my group, we have discussed how certain unavoidable circumstances such as age, generational standards, or life experiences can completely alter how certain people view certain issues, and how with a simple shift in perspective, we might be able to break down these walls between us. The trick is figuring out how to make that shift. Ian and Vicky have done an amazing job in stressing that talking to these people with different perspectives isn’t going to be easy. In fact, it will likely be very hard. But having that zoom call, that little virtual bubble, be our brave space… it helps to mitigate the fear in my heart when thinking about making change. Our 2nd discussion was about approaching family members or loved ones who have different opinions or perspectives from you, and having that conversation really struck a chord with me. Why is it so difficult to have constructive arguments with a loved one, as opposed to a stranger? For me, I think it is because I know that when I go into a conversation with a loved one about subjects that you disagree on, it forces you to look at these important figures in your life in a negative light. It forces you to slightly tarnish the opinions that you have of them, even if only for a brief moment. Once you form a negative opinion of someone, it becomes very difficult to ever see them the same way again. And that scares me. It scares me a lot.
But being able to have that brave space to not only discuss how to have these difficult conversations with loved ones, but also to simply to be able to come forward and admit that you do, in fact, have a different opinion than your parents, or your significant other, or your best friend… it truly inspires me to want to try and make a change in my world. It truly makes me feel brave. And I could not be more grateful to have been presented the opportunity to be a part of this movement alongside my family in the taiko community.
2020 has just passed its halfway point, and it has almost certainly been the longest and most exhausting 6 month period of my life. But as I sit here, at 5:47 AM on a Saturday morning, with no coffee in my hand because I forgot to go and buy coffee, I can honestly say that I am not tired in the slightest. If anything, I feel invigorated. And I have these discussions that I have been a part of to thank for that. They have given me a new perspective on how I view my loved ones, how I view people with differing opinions, and how I view myself. And sometimes that’s all it takes. A change in perspective.
I think I’m still going to go and buy coffee though.